


drink til i’m drunk, smoke til i’m high

by butterbeanie



Category: Kids w/ Problems RPF, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marijuana, Smoking, SuperMega - Freeform, big homo, confused gays, cute little bois, idk what i’m doing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 03:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20284312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterbeanie/pseuds/butterbeanie
Summary: ryan’s smoking in the living room again (per usual) and matt wants to try it with him. “no homo” but there’s definitely homo. no shame sorrytitle from song “wake up in the sky” by bruno marslowercase intended





	drink til i’m drunk, smoke til i’m high

**Author's Note:**

> like i have never smoked or done weed in my life so. my description of it may or may not be completely wrong so bear with me.

the room had a cloudy haze in the air, ryan stretched out comfortably on the couch with his feet resting on the coffee table as he took a long drag from his cigarette and puffed out rings of smoke to the ceiling. he sighed contently, his cheeks a lazy hue of pink as he doused the weed on a small bowl he left out, grinding the cigarette into the bottom until it crumbled into a pile of black ashes. he’s about to light another one when he hears the front door jingle open, matt stepping in with groceries hung on his lanky arms. “hey, ryan... smoking again? i thought we were done with that.” he rolled his eyes, and ryan scoffed. “hey, shut up dude. it’s calming!” 

“i’d never know, since i’ve never tried it.” matt shrugged, struggling to balance the plastic bags without it tipping over and spilling all its contents onto the floor. ryan didn’t even attempt to help him, just watched him with lidded eyes as he rushed to the kitchen island to dump the bags onto the counter. “you haven’t smoked before?” ryan questioned, and matt shrugged once more. “never really had an opportunity to. and i’ve never wanted to before, so. that’s that.” 

“oh, fuck that. c’mere.” ryan motioned matt to come sit down next to him on the couch, shifting over and patting the cushion invitingly. matt hesitated for a moment, before warily heading back to the living room and sinking into the seat. 

“i-i don’t know what i’m supposed to do.” matt started getting anxious, wringing his hands and bouncing his leg up and down rapidly. ryan reached over, placing a comforting hand on his thigh. “you don’t have to be nervous. here, i’ll show you the first few times.” he soothed, rubbing his thumb against matt’s soft skin in small circles as his leg slowed, taking a deep breath when ryan lit up another stick. 

“okay, this might be a little gay. shall we say our ‘no homos’ now, or forever hold our peace?” ryan said in mock seriousness, and matt giggled before giving him a light shove on the shoulder. “shut up, dude. just... do whatever you’re gonna do.” 

ryan nodded, eager. he put the tip in his mouth, taking a long drag and holding it in his lungs as he cupped matt’s cheek so he wouldn’t squirm away. the other hand pressing against his thigh to get more leverage, ryan leaned in, cocking his head slightly, their lips so close, he could feel matt’s body heat radiating off his reddening cheeks as he released a puff of smoke into matt’s slightly open mouth. matt took it into his mouth, but unsure what to do, he kept it in, making his cheeks puff out as he looked at ryan frantically. poor matt’s sweet innocence made him giggle, squishing his cheeks so the smoke puffed out in a airy exhale. 

“you’re supposed to inhale it, stupid. feel it in your lungs. not hold it like that. let’s try again, shall we?” ryan was smiling uncontrollably, and matt huffed with an aura of embarrassment. “be quiet, magee.” 

ryan chuckled one last time before sucking in another hit, relishing in the way his lungs warmed upon the smoke swirling in his throat. he pulled matt closer this time rather than leaning over, his mind too cloudy to use that much energy. tipping matt’s mouth up with his finger under his chin, ryan angled his head better to gently place his lips against matt’s rather than keep away, the logic section of his brain molding with the rest, he was completely out of control now, anything could happen. he pushed the smoke out from the bottom of his lungs to the back of matt’s throat, his tongue maneuvering the warm clouds and (accidentally, he swears) slipping into matt’s mouth. 

since matt wasn’t high enough yet to let it happen, he scrambled away in panic. “dude, what the hell were you doing?” matt said quickly with an edge to his voice, little white puffs of smoke erupting from his lips every time he spoke since he didn’t properly inhale that time, either. 

“what?” ryan drawled. “i’m doing what i’m supposed to.” 

“no, we- we were just- straight up making out right there!” matt was in full blown fight-or-flight action, his legs beginning to bounce up and down again. ryan saw this, sighed, then did what any human would do: crawl over and straddle him with his legs wrapped around his waist and hands resting on his shoulders. matt looked at him with wide eyes, his chest was heaving from nervousness, questions were swirling in his brain like a migraine. ryan only smiled, took another hit, then held his face between his hands so he could try it again. 

————

after the fourth hit, matt had finally gotten used to it, the pattern etched into his memory. they’d moved into a more comfortable position, with matt between ryan’s stretched out legs, his arms loosely looped around ryan’s shoulders. and ryan was right; it is sort of calming, in a weird sense, the bitter taste lingering on his tongue but it was kinda growing on him as he licked his chapped lips, waiting patiently for ryan to take another drag. 

but ryan didn’t. he placed the cigarette back down on the table, flicking the crumbling ashes off his fingertips nonchalantly. matt eyed him with a confused expression.

“matt?”

“yeah?”

“do you love me?”

matt was almost taken aback by this, and he would’ve been a lot more expressive if he wasn’t so dazed from the marijuana. how much raw emotion flowed from those four innocent words washed over him like a wave as he really considered his response. 

does he love ryan? of course he does, he’s his best friend, he would take a bullet for him if it comes down to it. but the way he said it sounded like he was asking for more than just a platonic relationship. like he wanted to be more than friends. but he didn’t want to jump right into that, in case he was completely off the rails, assuming something he wasn’t even considering. maybe he really was just wondering, making sure matt appreciated him as his closest friend - which he did, he definitely did; but was he willing to go farther than that? 

ryan cocked his head slightly, his brown eyes widening, pupils dilating, blinking slowly at him with a gaze of an emotion he couldn’t quite put a finger on. love? pain? wonder? maybe all three. it wasn’t until ryan’s hands started to leave his hips, his mind probably concluding that matt doesn’t love me i’m so stupid for thinking he did when matt realized he had been silent for far too long. he reached out for ryan’s retreating fingers with sudden urgency, intertwining them together in a tender hold. 

matt nodded. “i do. of course i do, ryan.” 

ryan’s lips parted in a gentle sigh, almost inaudible as he stared with a dreamy look into matt’s eyes. 

“if i did something really impulsive and dumb right now, would you still love me?” ryan’s words had dropped to a whisper, not trusting himself enough to keep a conversation in full volume without his voice cracking. matt hesitated, completely oblivious to what he was implying as he nodded again. “i’ll love you no matter what, i promise.”

“oh, thank god.” ryan breathed out in relief, pausing for a moment to let matt quizzically stare at him before leaning in and kissing him. 

matt felt like there were sparks flying off his fingertips, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up in a weirdly pleasant sort of way as he kissed back. his hands once holding ryan’s moved to rest comfortably in his gorgeous long hair, raking his fingers through it with such ease, such familiarity that he was wondering why they haven’t done this earlier. he could hear his heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears when ryan pulled back, slowly, almost reluctantly as he looked into matt’s eyes one more time, as if asking him silently was that okay? and oh god, it was more than okay when matt kissed him again, this time with a little more force, a little more passion. matt moved to sit on his lap, smiling against ryan’s lips when he sighed with contentment. 

“do you want to do that again, or was it just a spur-of-the-moment, i’m-high-as-shit thing?” 

“god, i hope it wasn’t.”


End file.
